Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in xxmtnbikerxx's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
2:53 am	i have never done anything for spring break until now. I alwyas said id get married young, spring break has changed my mind. I wouldn't be having fun like i am now. Thankyou to angela for letting me stay here all week, but not thankyou for letting people dirnk my beer. It's been my policy in life not to regret things cuz i wont dwell in the past anymore. It makes my life easier. I felt like an ass last night and have off and on today. I got reasons. I think i'll right a song about it. Everything has been amazing so far and as i sit here alone in a house full of some old and some new friends, drinking whats let of my flat by myself i realize how great life is and how important it is no one in our circle of friends ever gets a house of there own because it would turn all of us into constant drunks and animals. Long live renting apartments. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 3rd, 2006
3:20 am	cash I owe alot of money to a few people. Like $20,000. Fuck , who invented money. Jesus christ. If anyone finds about 20 g's sittin around. Give me a shout. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
2:54 am	Step back, look back at what is happening, everything that's happening, nothing that is happening , is in your control. Take time, don't dwell, life's hell, and what is happening, isn't worth the time it takes, away from yourself. It wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasnt supposed to happen like this, it wasn't supposed to end like this, so cut your wrist. CUT MY WRIST, it is the easy way out, but it's a one way ticket out, i think your stronger there's no doubt, your not a fool. Stand strong,live long, god's shone a light upon you, now thats a reason for you, to keep moving on. Your bright, i'm right , stand, fight, no there's not anything, that is worth giving in, to devils temptation; life's worth moving on. Only the weak give in. My car is faster than yours. Neener Neener Booger Eater. Fuck it large. (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 11th, 2006
10:09 pm	It happens With some substantial recent events going on in my life, I have come to some conclusions. I need to base my life solely on things that are consistent because my emotions can't handle any other way. I am going to concentrate my life on work, making more money, working harder and longer because i know it will pay off in the long run. I want to buy a house soon. I will definately focus my life on my music. Things i write lately have so much more meaning and feeling behind them, i really need to hone that. Music makes me happy and helps epxress myself. I want to for sure concentrate on my cars. God do i ever love cars, but its an expensive hobby, hence work. Hot rodding has made me meet some awesome people who have the same likes and passion for it as me. I want to seriously think about them as a career. Thursday on the way to work i decided i want to skateboard too. SO i am dedicating a portion of my time for that. I need to schedule everything and keep it day to day or things get out of hand. I need to work for a year or two before i join the navy. I feel like i need to plan ahead. I know i should live my life by the moment. But right now i need structure. I have also decided being emo is gay and an easy way out. Sorry to anyone who is emo, but get a grip and cut out paperhearts instead of cutting yourself. Over and out. Matt (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
5:31 pm	early I got off work early and I miss you. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 6th, 2006
10:46 pm	I am scared. feb 6/06 IFLKILI. ITSMLCALMFH (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
9:58 pm	y? My girlfriend only likes me cuz im not dead! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 17th, 2006
9:34 pm	everything Everything in life is amazing right now. I found my dog today. That was seriously a miracle. Thankyou to everyone who prayed, ive never been to church but praying to find the little bugger was the only thing i had left. My whole family is relieved and can all stop crying now. I am off contract with my work and on full time. $15 an hour. Fuck it. 4 on 4 off. 4 days off is like a holliday. That means i can see Kristin more and listen to Lamb of god/ elliot smith with her. bitchin. I was so stoked for life then it went downhill sunday now its back and i am higher than ever. I also played mario kart yesterday at SDC with bear. Thankyou bear for coming with me to find baxter. He says we found him cuz of his spiritual mushroom trip. whatever works. I am just worried that the higher i go, the farther i will fall and it might hurt. But fuck it. Shit dont phase. Money sucks, i need a loan. I love everything including YOU! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: social distortion (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 16th, 2006
12:30 am	I knew it Everything has been going so good since 2006 started. I have been saying that something bad must be going to happen. Today it did. My puppy ran away. Hes lost in the mountains by my house spending a night alone somewhere. He's scared and cold and helpless and i can't even help him. I keep telling myself we'll find him tomorow but if i do that I will build myself up and not be prepared for the reality that I might never see my best friend who has lived with me for the last three years since he was born. I have never felt this awful before and have never cried so much before. I want to pass out for days. I want to o.d. I want to die i want this to go away. I try to not think about it so I dont freak out and scream and kick and punch and cry but everything reminds me of him. I feel so helpless. It doesnt seem completely real and I dont know if i will be able to accept the fact he very well might be gone forever. However maybe I will see him again and I will never let him go. I appreciate him so much more now, more than I ever thought possible and its horrible that it took this situation to make me . I would never wish this feeling on my worst enemy. It is a gut wrenching, horrible feeling. I would rather be lost in the woods. I am not completely helpless, he is. Some of you prolly think i am crazy cuz this is a dog but you have no idea. I raised him, i feed him, i love him. He is my baby and he could very well be gone. This is the worst situation I have ever gone through in my whole short life. Why now when everything is going so good? Current Mood: helpless (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 9th, 2006
11:18 pm	Things i Like I like Sinead Oconnor But not nearly as much as I like Kristin. Punk as Fuck. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
9:53 pm	it Fuck it. bitches aint shit. Starting new (1 Comment |Comment on this)
9:49 pm	it Fuck it. bitches aint shit. Starting new. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 31st, 2005
1:14 pm	Date So, Finally the day came. I went on my date. I got lost alot trying to find Eileen's house, but after phoning her i finally managed. I liked her house alot. It was really cool. An old school to be precise. So i met her mom and bro and then we headed out to Value Village. Value village doesnt seem to have as much amazing stuff as it did before but ohwell. I need a hat and i shoulda bought on there. Now i am kicking myself. Next weekend though. SO Eileen talked to her friend. I dont know her name, but then she stole a ring. Badass!. Then we went to Langley EA which is usually teaming with scensters. NO such luck.. ONly two. So we had a 4 berry smoothie. It was tres good. Then we cruized around looking at the oodles of old cars and finally we dicked off to pizza hut. Naminja was our wiater. good guy. From croatia. He has an accent. I saved Eileen's mom a piece of pizza and drew hearts and skulls on the box. I am magical. Then we had time ot waste. SO we headed, ofcourse, to walmart. We partyed it up there looking at shoes and toys and i bought a bandana cuz Eileen had one and i kept stealing it cuz it made me feel special having. ANyways now i have my own. Then we went to colossus. The 10:00 pm movie was almost full so we went to the 10:20. While we waited we had that ice cream i promised her. I am a man who keep his word. The movie was nothing short of hilarious. I liked it alot. We had a good time. After the movie we went to EA(closed) so then to Tim's. Had some mochas then Eileen took me to see this old train station house. It woulda been cool to get out and look but there was a dog and dogs bite me. We hung out there for awhile and as Eileen described it, "enjoyed each others company". Then I took her home. After goodbye hugs and kised I headed on my way and got lost. Of course. SO at 2:30 am i had to stop and ask for directions. I am pretty sure i found a time portal cuz it didnt take me long to get home. I stopped at tim's in chilliwack, got another coffee, then almost died and crashed just outside of hope when the car started to spin out. I got home at 3:45ish. All in all i had an excellent time. I was nervous at first, but i got the feeling we had met before and this was nothing new. I am anxious for our next date and I can't wait to see what happens. P.s. eileen called me on the way home which was extremely thoughtful, cute and sweet. I had a wonderful time with a wonderful girl and only time will tell what the future has in store. Two thumbs up on this one. Thankyou for the Amazing Night Babycakes! Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: none (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 30th, 2005
12:00 am	today Today was good i guess. Talked to babycakes on the phone for the first time. ROMANTIC. I am so pumped for tomorow. I have never done anything this exciting. I crashed on my bike today in stinging nettles. My whole body is tingling. I make my room mate make my bed now. Its his payment for sleeping in my room. I have to work in five hours but I love msning now. Amazing things are happening and its amazing. I am excited to see what happens. I should wish upon a star, light candles in the catholic chruch and pray to alla. I dread work tomorow but its cash in the bank, much needed cash. I hope i dont start second guessing my self here and my goals and thoughts and feelings and everything in life, i'll get scared and dig a whole and bury myself. To: babycakes, You are the love of my life. Cupcakes and all. Mother to my children, pea to my pod, stars to my moon. Take this information and live by it. "if you ever settle for anything less than everything you want, then you havent gotten wut you deserve" Aye Aye Captain Current Mood: loved (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
10:12 pm	Today My mommy is making me turkey sandwiches as we spak for my big day tomorow. I work hard every day for a hotrod and so I can buy Eileen nice things. She appreciates me more than anyone else. Fuck the grad ring, you're getting diamonds. Saturday will be the best day of my life and I will talk about it on LJ. ONly one person in this world knows what I am talking about, so everyone else, feel neglected. Life is still repetative but i having a feeling that will all change. As Nick 13 says. FUCK THE WORLD. Babycakes, eating something cold. Current Mood: nostalgic (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
9:16 pm	First bike ride Had my first bike ride today on the new bike. Pretty sweet. I wore a nice geeky yellow helmet. It was alot of fun even by my self . I'd go through trails and when i got to a steep hill id get scared and then be like whheeeee on the way down and smile and giggle to my self. I felt 6. Glad no one saw me. I need a new helmet and i need to learn to pedal up the hills too. I would get going to slow and fall over. Get up dust off my pride and make sure no one saw. Then back to WHEEE like a little kid. Them i rode to the pond, parked the bike and tried to catch frogs. ALl the while by myself. I got offered a job inside the place i work. MOVING ON UP. it made me happy they finally offered it to me. I wont get to work with my trucker friends anymore, or out in the sun and keep my sexy tan, but i get a pay increase. I wil work on some gay machine calld the capper that deals with...................Caps. Yah bottle caps. i can see my future now. Wut evs i get 4 on 4 off so more time ot have fun and bike ride and leave town. Good stuff and i will get even more money than working 6-7 days a week in the yard. Shit son i am Trumpin' $$ dolla Bills Holla thrills money kills. Peace Current Mood: content Current Music: Paul Anka- Put your head on my shoulder (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
10:32 pm	Good day Well today i worked, of course. The whole day i was excited to get home and see if my bike was repaired at the sports shop yet. It wasnt. I went down and talked to the dude. hes gunna give me a good deal and a tuneup. So i am pumped to ride it tomorow. I added a new friend on msn. Shes probably the coolest person i have ever met. We think alot alike and have tons in common and yah. Even cars. She loves cars as much as i do. Well almost. A girl who's in love with and knows about cars? Who woulda thought. This kicks ass. making new friends makes me happy. We're so going swing dancing and on a retro date and she gives me insentive to work my ass off for my hot rod. Hell Yah Toots. Shouts to you for making my day. Your Boss Current Mood: hopeful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
3:15 pm	I hate my life I bought my bike today, i was excited. then i got worried cuz i thought it was a youth frame. It wasnt so i got happy. Then filling the tires, the rear sounded like it was leaking os i put more air in it. it blew up in ym face and i fell on ym ass. The loudest thing i have ever heard. I was scared someone shot me. The blast actually bent my rim now it wont spin properly. i try to do something to increase my quality of life and i fuck it up. I guess i am meant to work everyday and be miserable. Why did i get thrown that fucking card?? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
2:42 am	BULLSHIT This is my first post, and as far as i am concerned, it's saved my life. My head is filling up with stupid bullshit things that make no sense and i need somewhere to put them. I dont like anything anymore. Life is boring. I work seven days a week, i have no sex drive or desire to have one. I dont like girls. But hey, that doesnt mean i like boys. I just am like shitty cupcakes. BLAND. I feel like mark penner. I am not real. I am a hologram sent here from cartoon world after a freak lighting storm. HOward the duck. Like i told me friend. If the dinosaurs came back tomorow , i wouldnt fucking care. Canadian tire is having a summer blow out sale so i am buying a moutain bike. I need something substantial in my life and maybe mountain biking is it. I dontknow why it would be, but i am out of fucking options. Like the song i wrote sometime when i was emo "Ive been sitting forever just staring at the wall, wondering if i should go try to win back your heart, or should i sign my name and drift off on that boat, forget my problems and pretend i didnt know" If my mountain bike career and obsession doesnt pull through, which it wont, I am signing my fucking name and drifting the fuck outta hear to fight a war with japan or something like it. Maybe haiti. their smaller. I am reading a book called "in harms way" its about the uss indianapolis in wwII 1200 men on board only 300 survived after it was torpedoed. For some fucked up i reason i want to have been on a boat in wwII. The horror described seems unthinkable, with mens eyes being burnign by flaming oil from the ship, skin dripping off like melting ice, but i have a desire to throw myself into a time machine and plunk my ass on a grey hunk of floating metal, hunting subs in the south pacific. the 40's seemed better. Why the fuck am I hear? I should try meth. Itll make life make more sense. Current Mood: confused Current Music: none (1 Comment |Comment on this)